Those Who Mourn

by Marie Brousseau

When we lose our loved ones, we feel bereft, lost and alone. We bemoan the fact that we will never see them again, or hear their voices, or enjoy their company. In our immediate shock and grief, we think of the here and now and what their loss signifies to us in our earthly life. Even our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ was pained at the death of a beloved friend; he cried tears of sadness when Lazarus died (John 11:35).

As I grew in my faith in God, I began to rely more and more on the teachings and promises of Jesus, such as our soul being eternal. Earthly death is not the end of the story. Jesus promised that he was preparing a place for us in his kingdom (John 14:1-3). It is essential for those of us who grieve to remember this promise so as not to fall into despair or despondency. I believe in this promise. This promise is our hope – the hope that keeps us forging forward despite all the pain and suffering we live through since we believe that a better life awaits us. I believe that those who have gone before us, and who have lived in a state of grace, can intercede on our behalf, thus consoling us enormously in our time of mourning.

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When I lost my mother to cancer over ten years ago, I was able to live through my grief through prayers, specifically those prescribed for gaining indulgences for the souls of the faithful departed. A soul who is in Purgatory is on its way to heaven; the soul is being purified before eventual entry into eternal beatific vision. Therefore, the souls in Purgatory are part of the Communion of Saints and are known as the Holy Souls, being spiritually united to the saints in heaven and to the faithful living on earth. In fact, every year, there is the Commemoration of the Holy Souls on November 2nd, also known as All Souls Day. Catholics dedicate the entire month of November to praying for the faithful departed, helping them achieve purification to enter God’s presence.

As the weeks and months went by following my mother’s funeral, I slowly realized that my mom’s soul must have been praying for me, either from Purgatory or from heaven. I began to see all the good things that were happening in my life which I attributed to my mother’s intercession. I was talking about this with one of my aunts, explaining to her that according to Catholic belief and tradition, while the souls in Purgatory cannot pray for themselves, their prayers on behalf of those they leave behind are known to God. St. Alphonsus Liguori argued in favor of the Holy Souls interceding on our behalf: “So the souls in Purgatory, being beloved by God, and confirmed in grace, have absolutely no impediment to prevent them from praying for us.” And, as is told of St. Catherine of Bologna, she would have recourse to the souls in purgatory when she desired a favor, testifying “… that by the intercession of the souls in Purgatory she had obtained many graces which she had not been able to obtain by the intercession of the saints.” I believe in the Communion of Saints and in the teachings on the Holy Souls in Purgatory. We are not alone, left to drift aimlessly here on earth.

In fact, it is suggested that God can reveal our prayers to the souls and accept their prayers on our behalf. While it was comforting to pray for the repose of my mother’s soul, it was just as comforting to know that God could hear my mother’s prayers for me. She loved me wholeheartedly when she was alive. She did not suddenly stop loving me when she died. Her physical body is no longer on earth, but her soul remains for all eternity. In fact, it is said that of the three theological virtues of faith, hope and love, the most important one is love. Why? Because after we die, we no longer need to have faith or to hope; we will know that God exists. Love, however, will remain since God is pure love. Our eternal love for our dear ones still on earth will continue to exist, albeit in a more holy way. This is a mainstay of Catholic belief and tradition: we will be reunited with our loved ones in heaven. This conviction is grounded in the Communion of Saints and in God’s love for us. The bonds of love are not destroyed by death. In God’s presence, our earthly bonds of love will be perfected and transfigured. This is the basis of our hope and is an immense comfort in our moments of grief.

I sometimes tell people to ask their dearly departed to help them cope with their grief; in other words, to intercede on their behalf by praying for them. I find it extremely consoling that God’s love extends to the hereafter, embracing the entire communion of his faithful children.

The Evening Prayer, Pierre Edouard Frère, 1857.

It is said of Saint Padre Pio that his Masses were so long because he could see the souls of Purgatory and offered the Eucharistic sacrifice for each one. He also saw souls being released from Purgatory and ascending into heaven. In other words, our prayers for the souls of Purgatory are helpful. This signifies that God hears our prayers and can hear the souls’ prayers for us. This is the beauty of the Communion of Saints, which is a great consolation for us all. In fact, God is so very loving that he permits Our Lady to visit the suffering souls in Purgatory to offer them refreshment and consolation, as recorded by St. Faustina Kowalska in her Diaries. It is also part of Catholic tradition that the souls who were loosed from Purgatory by our prayers are so very grateful that they will intercede for us from heaven as a sign of holy gratitude. What a wonderful consolation for those who mourn their loved ones!

I have dear friends who live through the loss of their parents, children, and spouses. For example, a few years ago, a dear friend lost his mother, who was in her nineties. This woman was a very dear friend to me, and I loved her very much. She was a loving woman who believed in God and who bestowed her loving Christian kindness to everyone she met. In fact, she loved life and people so much, she seemed to push back against the inevitable end of her life. She was in palliative care for months, clinging to life because she felt that her mission of helping others was not yet over. She could still communicate her love for us, wanting to stay with us as long as her frail little body would allow. She had an amazing will for living and seemed to defy death. Her son didn’t know how he would cope without her loyal and loving presence. She had been there for him and his family all his life. I knew that he would be devastated when the end would come. I told him the first thing that came to my mind: your mom will have a new mission when she leaves. She will keep on looking out for you and for the rest of the family in eternity. She will have a new mission to fulfill. She was such a firm believer and devout Catholic. We would pray the rosary together when I would visit her. She loved her family deeply and would do anything for them. My words seemed to fortify her son. His mother died a few days after our conversation. Sometime later, he confided that he had told her that she would have a new mission; that she had to continue praying for him and the rest of the family from her new place in eternity. He made her understand that she would have a new vocation. He told me that he saw peace and serenity on her face when she heard these words. She was finally able to surrender to the natural process of dying. She peacefully left this life within hours of fully realizing that death would not be the end, but rather the beginning of her eternal life, where she could intercede for her loved ones until they would eventually be reunited.

In closing, let us pray for the repose of our beloved departed’s souls and entrust them to God’s mercy. Our prayers and Mass offerings are part of the spiritual works of mercy which include praying for the dead. We can also obtain indulgences for the remittance of their sins by following the Church’s prescribed prayers and actions regarding the bestowing of God’s indulgence. Doing all this not only helps the souls attain heaven, but it helps us cope with our grief and loss. Our hope rests in God and in his promises.

May the souls of the faithful departed rest in peace by the mercy of God. Amen

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