Those Who Mourn

by Dr. Vanesa M. Scott-Thompson

In Ruth 1:20-21, we learn how Naomi feels about the death of her husband and sons.  She says, “Don’t call me Naomi. Call me Mara, because the Almighty has made my life very bitter. I went away full, but the Lord has brought me back empty. Why call me Naomi? The Lord has afflicted me; the Almighty has brought misfortune upon me.” 

Naomi says that her life is bitter, she is empty, the Lord has afflicted her and brought misfortune upon her life.  

Let’s unpack the key words that Naomi uses to describe her grief and life circumstances:  

Bitter-She is bitter because she has lost her husband and sons.  

Empty-She is empty because her role has shifted from being a wife and mother to a widow with no children.  

Afflicted-She is afflicted because losing family members causes mental and emotional pain that seems unbearable.

Misfortune-Misfortune is expressed because the death of her husband and sons has changed her life in ways that she cannot fully comprehend.

Grieving my Dad

I can identify with Naomi’s grief.  In April of 2025, my 83-year-old dad died unexpectedly at home. When he died, I was sad because losing a parent causes a hole in your soul.  I have known him my whole life and he has been there for every major milestone.  However, I now have to navigate a life without his constant presence.  My childhood home now feels emptier when I visit my mom.

In the midst of my grief, God impressed on me the following verse: 1 Thessalonians 5:18, “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”  I thought it was a strange scripture but I felt that God told me to write down the things I was grateful for in my dad’s 83 years of living and not his death.

Here is a snippet of that list:

• He was a Bible teacher for over 50 years.
• My parents were married for 58 years.
• He held Saturday night devotions and Bible study with my mom, sister and me for almost 10 years when I was a pre-teen and teenager.
• My dad was a loving father, grandfather and great-grandfather.

Once I took the perspective of thanking God for every circumstance, I was able to focus on my dad’s impactful life and not his death.

Grieving my Friend

In September 2025, my close friend was murdered by her husband alongside her mom, and then her husband committed suicide.  Her husband took her life outside of the school where she was an assistant principal.   I am struggling to comprehend how her full life of family, friends, travel, and career were cut short. 

I am brokenhearted and sad.   Her death is so tragic and unfortunate because I will never be able to call, email, text or go to dinner with her again.  The life I have known with her is over and I will miss her. 

When I told God that I was brokenhearted about her death, God gave me a few scriptures:

1 Peter 5:7 “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”

Psalm 34:17-18 “The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

Psalm 147:3 “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”

Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash

In every scripture God is giving me a promise in the midst of my grief:  

In 1 Peter 5:7, God tells me to cast all of my anxieties on Him because he cares for me. 

In Psalm 34:17-18, God is assuring me that he hears my cries, delivers me from my troubles, is close to me because I am brokenhearted and crushed in spirit.  

In Psalm 147:4, God tells me that he heals my broken heart and my wounds.  

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Living with Grief

When we grieve, we may have Naomi’s experience of bitterness, emptiness, affliction and misfortune.  We may also grieve like I did for my dad with both a happy and sad feeling – happy that he lived a long life, but sad about his presence no longer on the earth.  In the cases of tragic death, we may be brokenhearted, sad, or shattered because we struggle to comprehend why it happened.

In an effort to maintain peace in my heart and mind, I have self-care practices that are helping me in the midst of my compounded grief:

• Whether life is up or down, I study my Bible and I pray to the Lord Jesus Christ.
• I have been journaling since I was 12 because it is how I process my life.
• I like to go to a creek or a small pond near my home and walk near it or sit by it.  It calms my nervous system, and I always feel a release as I am sitting near the water.
• I have a spiritual coach and a counselor.  The spiritual coach confirms what I am hearing from God and often challenges me to consider something new.  My counselor helps me to process my life and provides me with insights that I may have missed.  She also challenges me to think about things from another perspective.

Despite the weight of grief, God meets me faithfully in every season of my life, even the painful ones. Through Scripture, prayer, and the gentle practices that keep me grounded, God continues to remind me that grief is a journey. As I go forward one day at a time, I carry with me the memories of my dad and my friend along with God’s promises.

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